Red Rover Is Over

I remember playing Dodgeball in elementary (K-6) and junior high (7-9) school. We couldn't bring a note from Mommy excusing us from P.E. that day or cry about getting hurt...we played Dodgeball. We played not just because we were told to play, but we also enjoyed it. We were kids acting like kids. We PLAYED. A generation later and now our children aren't allowed to play group games like Dodgeball in school because someone might get hurt. And because someone has to lose the game. Apparently it's not acceptable anymore for people to have different talents. Today everyone gets a trophy. What happened?

Do you remember feeling the icy-hot sting when that textured-rubber ball connected with the side of your face during a game of Dodgeball? I sure do. Because I sucked at Dodgeball (and sports in general). The Dodgeball sting was especially bad if the thrower was mad at you that day. Or if we were outside on a frosty winter morning. Or if a boy threw the ball at you. We didn't separate the boys from the girls until junior high school; we all played together.

Usually during a game of Dodgeball I could be found on my team's bench shortly after the opening rush...I was an easy target because I sucked at both dodging and catching the ball. We also played Tag/Freeze Tag; can I get an "Olly, olly oxen free!" anyone? We played many rounds of Red Rover too, and let me tell you, there's nothing like being clothes-lined by your peers because you are short and not strong or fast enough to break through the solid grasp of the two people holding hands. We played Kickball and Softball and Flag Football. Outside. We played outside with the sun shining on our young skin and the wind messing up our overly hair-sprayed 80's bangs.

By the way, I was so bad at Softball that I was usually sent to the way, way outfield. Without a glove. My shining moment on the playground was the time I caught a ball in the way, way outfield with my bare hands. True story.  

During elementary school our teachers would usually assign team Captains for the day's game. The Captains would then pick their teams, player by player. When you suck at sports you're usually one of the last players to get picked, unless your best nonathletic friend is Captain that day. Most of the time I was one of the last four or five to get picked, usually with a line like, "We'll take her, I guess".

I'm a sensitive person so the experience always brought a blush to my cheeks but it didn't embarrass me. It didn't humiliate me or traumatize me. I'm not scarred physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, psychologically, socially, or in any other way in which we can be damaged.

Sure, back then (like 20-30 years ago) we picked on each other, as kids have always done, but we didn't bully each other. If our teasing ever went too far then a teacher was quick to step in and put a stop to it. I sucked at sports. I knew it. My schoolmates knew it. We all knew it because we all saw my physical un-coordination. Probably because we actually interacted with to each other, face to face, rather than gaming and texting with each other.

Even though it was known that I was not an athlete, the things I did do well were also known. Even though athletic ability was not included in my inheritance, I still played. Even though I really just wanted to spend recess sitting in the shade of a tree, writing a poem or story, I still played. I still played and participated in my childhood whether I wanted to or not because we didn't have a choice in the matter. And you know what? I enjoyed a good portion of my childhood playground experiences and I survived the ones I was forced to be a part of...and today I enjoy the memories of all of it.

I'm thankful that P.E. grades were dependent on participation and not talent. I have other talents, talents that suit my personality, talents given specifically to me. Wouldn't this world be super boring if we were all good at Dodgeball and Red Rover? Zzz. Life is about participation, about interaction, about relationships, about learning. Life is about stages. Stages like childhood, adolescence, adulthood, and senior citizenship. If the stages of life build upon each other then the foundation stage, childhood, has to be balanced.

Its okay if our kids suck at Dodgeball or Red Rover or Softball or Hide-n-Seek. Let them suck at something while they're a child so they can handle it as an adult. They don't deserve a trophy just for showing up. What's special about that? Parents, help your kids find their talent(s) and encourage them to develop their talent(s). Give them a trophy when they go above and beyond. Give them a trophy when they have a valid reason to be proud of themselves. Maybe give them a face to face conversation instead of a cell phone.

If our precious offspring(s) get hurt along the way, then we need to just throw some green soap on their skinned knee, or get them an ice pack for their Dodgeball-kissed face, or give them a shoulder to cry on when their feelings are hurt. And then send them on their way. Our children should be able to handle the physical and the mental participation in the playground games that have existed globally for centuries of generations.

Our children need to experience childhood. Let them play. Make them if you have to. Make yourself play with them. Bring back childhood.